My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we're making bets on your personal life
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
