Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
