i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
