TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
