so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
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