Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
