Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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