What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
