Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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