How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
