Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
