Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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