my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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