i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
