why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
