I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
