I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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