I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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