Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
