talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
only if we run a train.
done.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
