I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
