I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
