I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
