he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
