I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me š
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Having Fatherās Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. āHey dad just calling to say I love you.ā While Iām navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Fatherās Day.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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