shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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