oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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