How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
