Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
