I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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