Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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