I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
