I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
