Heybabeimwearingurpanties
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
