It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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