Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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