Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
