i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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