I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
