no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
