Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
