Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
