So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
