Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
