Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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