If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
