Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
