why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
