508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
