he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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